She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
