All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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