Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
