Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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