Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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