turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
