Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I skipped work to stalk him.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
