he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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