apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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