Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
