Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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