look no pants
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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