Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
