I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
