then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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