I am full of burrito and curiosity
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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