I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
