this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize