Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
