Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
