Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
