Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i think my cat just said my name.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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