Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
