i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
