You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
