um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize