good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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