True but thats because hes a fetus.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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