she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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