wakey wakey hands off snakey
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
