Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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