My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
When did angry sex become our thing?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
