how can u be prego again
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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