So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
