You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
