have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
