I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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