Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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