He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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