the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
They took my balls.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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