I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You left your phone here
Wait...
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