It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
