Just took my morning after pill in the library
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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