we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
