hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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