I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
