Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
