Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
ugly people sure do ruin things
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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