I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
