I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
