David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
