i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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