they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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