His pubic hair was longer than his dick
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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