Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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