the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize