Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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