Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Shame - the story of my life.
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