well you can't waste a boner
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
