stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize