I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Randomize
