I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
