woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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