last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
